Yesterday, the government recently handed over shiny new vehicles to 15 cultural leaders at Kololo Independence Grounds—but one throne stood conspicuously empty.
The Buganda Kingdom, Uganda’s most storied and symbol-rich monarchy, was a no-show. This sparked questions: had the Kabaka snubbed the government’s gift, or was this a subtle act of royal protest?
Stepping into the spotlight with a scroll of clarification, Minister of Gender, Labour, and Social Development, Betty Amongi, offered an explanation.
“Fear not,” she told journalists. “I met with the Katikkiro. The absence was ceremonial, not political. Buganda, as always, plays chess while others play checkers.”
According to Minister Amongi, Buganda’s royal customs forbid outsiders from offering direct gifts to the Kabaka—especially ones with wheels. “Their tradition mandates that gifts to the king must come from within the kingdom, not from external hands—even if those hands carry Shs 60 million and a V8,” she explained.
Instead of delivering a government-issued SUV to Mengo, a cheque was provided instead. “It covers both the cost of the vehicle and a mountain of backlogged allowances. They’ll handle the logistics according to their mystic rites,” she added—subtly hinting that sacred cows might be involved.
Meanwhile, Vice President Jessica Alupo addressed the 15 other cultural leaders who had accepted their vehicles. She praised their role in fostering national unity, driving social transformation, and providing grassroots support ahead of the 2026 elections—a gentle reminder that these SUVs come with expectations.
Delivering President Museveni’s message, Alupo reiterated that the revival of traditional kingdoms was a masterstroke in building national harmony. “Our ancestors were the original influencers,” she read. “They united warring clans and invented inter-clan diplomacy long before Twitter.”
In closing, the President emphasized that cultural institutions are not merely about drums and dances—they are crucial to preserving Uganda’s heritage and enhancing its tourism appeal. Or, as one insider put it: “A kingdom with a well-preserved drumbeat attracts more than just tourists—it draws votes.”
